That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
