somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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