Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
try to milk me bitch
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