when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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