I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
