Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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