check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
