Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My balls are so social today.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
