I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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