i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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