They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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