fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dicks are not precious.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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