Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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