I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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