Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize