I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize