So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
