She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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