are you so shy because you have an std?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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