i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize