I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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