Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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