ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
