the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
