well I can't set my house on fire every night
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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