I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
