There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.