...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
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I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?