Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
