I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
