i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
