I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
