Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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