Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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