he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
