the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
