Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.