I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.