His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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