The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
