I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
