Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?