We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
