So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
operation harelip BJ is a go
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him