It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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