the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.