i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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