His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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