No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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