Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize