Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
