She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
