I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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