mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
