i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You ruined the universe
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
