Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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