You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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