I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
