Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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