well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
