Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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