Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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