I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
