"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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