the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
